After Matta Fair

Satu minggu yang penat & meletihkan. Finally it is Friday, and besok cuti 2 hari.

I was not well the whole week. Asyik pening kepala ja. Mata pun dah rasa macam senget sebelah, too much depan computer. I went back early (like took half-day off, very unlikely for me to do that) on Monday & Wednesday. And was on leave yesterday, Thursday. Satu hari tak fikir office. Lepak, relaks kat rumah. My bp was high on Wednesday 145/95 again, but this morning, before work, I went to clinic, and it was 135/80. I still need to bring down the top portion though. And need more rest and peacefull mind. Although I'm on medication, but i worry too much of everything lately, hence the bp goes up. And cannot sleep too. Now my sleep pattern is like one day can sleep, one day sleep between 3-5am. My friends gave me macam-macam benda to put me to sleep. Sleeping pills Aunty Nita bagi pun tak jalan sangat.

I need to do something to stable bp, if I do not wish to be on medication for the rest of my life. My exercise can only be done over the weekend. So, now obediently Saturday & Sunday, I'm doing it at Taman Tar, Ampang. Been doing that with Aunty Nita in the evening since late last month, stop during Matta week, and continued last week. Fahroe came around 730am last Saturday morning and surprised me with his new triton (finally he bought the car after so long pastering) before we went walking. It amused me that for the past 2 years I've been dragging & nagging him ajak exercise, tapi macam2 alasan dia bagi. Tracksuit kat laundry is his favourite excuse. Perhaps I have to fall sick often to make him follow me exercise without excuse, as this time, I just asked, and he said yes. (Yes doink, I perli you ni loud & clear). Next week Monday & Thursday kena pegi check bp lagi. Aunty Nita gave me a new ubat, lower dosage, hope it will help.

Ma & Ba went to Surabaya last week, and arrived KL on Monday, 26th March. They did not stopover in KL, straight back to Penang, then dad's driver pick-up balik SP. I did their domestic connection flight with airasia. Tapi tak tau mana silap, although I went through the itinerary 3 times with babah, apparently, I booked them on wrong date for return. It was booked on Monday, 26th February. So babah had to purchased another ticket, as airasia does not do refunds. Apa la, anak sendiri keja travel agent pun boleh doink sekali macam tu. Mama dah cakap taknak naik airasia ever again. Ye lah, dia dah biasa naik MH, sekali kena no-frills ailine, tak selesa la dia. I told them about my bp problem, and of course mom was really worried. But I told her, whether it is genetic or not, I will take care of myself. Now daily she sms me, kasi reminder makan ubat, malam sure dia kasi reminder jangan makan dinner with lots of garam. I know she is worry, already gave that as an excuse to my dad the more reason they should come back to KL and settle down here very soon. I planned nak balik SP hari ni, nak drive the new car, tapi Ma tak kasi balik sorang-sorang. Tanak gaduh dengan dia, so lepak KL ja la this week. Rest at home.

My new car is okay. Reached its 1000km within one month. Sent for service semalam. Bagus jugak ambik kaler mocha ni, tak nampak kotor. Dah sebulan tak cuci keta tu. Hehehe. Nanti weekend ni I kasi cuci la. Paling jauh jalan sungai buluh ja. I use my car to drive to office only, after office & weekend I use my driver & his car.

Apa lagi nak bagitau? Oh, Sabtu lepas I pegi visit my friend Aween. I think most of you who read this blog know her. She was diagnosed with GIST (gastrointestinal stromal tumour) last year, and fighting very strong now. Selayang hospital told her no hope, Subang Medical Centre gave her 9 months. She has stopped her chemotherapy using glevac as it does not work with her. At the moment she tries alternative medical treatment, more on building up her imune body system. Those who know Aween, please contact her and gave your moral support and encourage her to fight. That is all that we can do now. If you know of any treatment, please share with her direct, or drop me an email about it. To Aween : be strong okay? Jangan loose hope!

Now, I rasa lapar la pulak while writing this. Hmm.... crave apa tau? Kuay teow!!! mmmm..... Last sunday night pergi sana with Fahroe & Nazif, tutup la pulak. At last kitorang pegi rumah Toy. Maybe nak try tomorrow night. We are supposed to celebrate birthday Hanizah, tapi minah ni sibuk memanjang. Tengok la macam mana besok.

Last Friday, I did go to my brother's house (ayahnurin). The kids were excited to see me, dah ngantuk2 pun, tunggu jugak Makngah sampai. I thought nak kasi surprise, tapi ibu dah terbocor rahsia. That night I slept quite late layan 2 orang tu. Hariz tido belah kanan, Nurin tido belah kiri. Nurin banyak cakap. Penat nak layan. Antara my conversation with Nurin :

Makngah : Nurin, sekolah macam mana?
Nurin : Nurin pergi Smart reader for kids. It's okay.
Makngah : Lepas sekolah help ibu tak kat rumah.
Nurin : Nurin kecik lagi la. I'm five years old.
Makngah : Oh, kecik lagi. Ada boyfriend tak kat school?
Nurin : Ada! His name is Adib!

Hmm..... macam mana tu? Ayahnurin : you daughter also told me that she will only cook at the age of 18! Good luck with her!

Things need to do this weekend :
1) Ambik laundry
2) Hantar laundry cadar & selimut & langsir
3) Pegi pasar beli ikan, add on fruits at home
4) Check-out from aunty yot some nice vege recipe for me to cook and eat (mkn sayur still fail!)
4) Shopping???? kalau sempat (seriously boleh release stress bak kata bull & ma'in! hehehe)
5) Visit opah - ni mesti buat ahad pagi for breakfast
6) Get some sleep next 3 nights
7) Tengok wayang -boleh buat skali with no 4 kalau sempat kat klcc
8) Buy new books also kat klcc with no 4 & 7
9) Drop by jumpa sarah/iza (aku pegi semalam korang tak balik lagi, nak pegi makan fish???)
10) Saturday morning walk

Okay nak balik, going KLS for dinner.

Have a good weekend everybody, drive safely on the road.

Famous Last Word By Chemical Romance

Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...

And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part
To change that part
To change...

So many
Bright lights, they cast a shadow
But can I speak?
Well is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Can you see
My eyes are shining bright
Cause I'm out here
On the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror
And I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A love that's so demanding
I get weak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

These bright lights have always blinded me
These bright lights have always blinded me
I say

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

6 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT AIDA DOINK!

Panglima ni takde kerja dok tag orang. Below are 6 weirds things about me :

1) I must have chicken in my daily food intake. Ayam dah jadi makanan ruji. Satu hari tak makan ayam, can die! (serious!!!). Last night ordered 8pieces bbq chicken kat Domino's Midvalley, with strict instruction to paroe that he can only have 2, although he is paying! Kat Canberra dulu selalu sangat la berkejar-kejaran dengan Ray (Iza's husband)sebab he loved to kidnap my ayam from my plate while I'm eating. Even until now dia tak leh duduk diam and sakat I when it comes to eating ayam. If merajuk with boyfriend, they (the previous and current) tak payah susah-susah bagi chocolates ka, bunga ka, pujuk I bawak makan ayam goreng ja cukup lah. Cepat gila sejuk hati. Hehehe.

2) I crave to have my own baby. Desparately need one now, using the natural method. Motherhood instinct is so strong, cannot see baby, small children, will crave the whole day. Nag kat boyfriend, he says wait! Aiyak, kena tunggu la.

3) Despite babycrave, I, myself is a crybaby. Sikit-sikit nangis. Benda kecik pun boleh jadi issue besar, then nangis! I am bigsize, very garang at office, but I cry a lot when it comes to my issues. Tapi airmata tu tak habis-habis la! Hehehehe. I'm a very sensitive person deep down inside despite my happy go lucky attitude I show off to people.

4) I hate cats, actually afraid of cats!!! Many people injured themselves bila diorang try nak sergah I dengan kucing. Tak boleh duduk diam kalau ada kucing kat sebelah.

5) I love the word doink! Don't ask me why.

6) I tak reti naik beskal! Tu pun don't ask me why. I can balance myself if I skate, but not on bycicle. Kat Trolak dulu, my friend, Aliasman, setiap petang without fail for few weeks akan bawak basikal dia depan dewan badminton, turun kan his seat, and thought me how to ride. But I failed. At last dia give up!

There you go. Now, the next six people will be :

1) Ayahnurin
2) Rimaugirl
3) Anum&Man
4) Irwan
5) Kaklong shila
6) J

As p5 wrote in his blog : "tagging rules : once tagged, the target must reveal six weird things about him/herself. and then tag others. break the chain and youre a party pooper"

Hehehehe, nasib la korang!

Happy Birthday Sarah Azreen!

Don't worry, you are still young, we all are still young! hehehehe.

I'm exhausted, very tired, seksa gila nak bangun pagi. Mama call nak kejut suruh bangun 2 kali, Paroe dialed 3 kali, Sarah's 3rd wake-up call baru I sedar this morning! Now still sleepy. But I'm fine, bp tak sure berapa sekarang, end of the week baru nak pegi check. Aunty Nita bagi I atenolol for additional 10days, just to control myself after the Matta Fair. Office tengah tension nak issue punya banyak tickets yang passenger dah book through-out last weekend.

Can't wait this weekend, where I can sleep puas-puas. Nak lepak puas-puas, dating puas-puas, nak pergi massage my body, and do some shopping! I need a break myself!

Will update again later, now nak help ticketing department clear Matta fair tickets, and I have to start my collect hutang from clients or BSP this week sangkut pulak. Chairman takde, Managing Director takde, even my darling BDM, Helina pun takde, semua out of country. Tinggal I sorang-sorang nak handle office ni. Die!

I couldn't sleep last nite. Dah makan ubat tido (the one given by my aunt who is my doctor as I complained I couldn't sleep at nights) pun tak beri kesan apa-apa. Around 1am I started to have chest pain. At first I buat bodoh ja, but an hour after it became more painful and I felt hard to breathe. Nak berdiri rasa pening semacam, berpaut kat tangga while nak turun.

Rush pegi klinik 24jam kat Bukit, just to discovere my bp was 170/110 at 3am in the morning. Doctor tu pun macam nak freak out ja. Muka tak puas hati 3 kali try dapat reading yang sama. Terus kena buat ECG, dia ketuk sana sini on my body, tekan sana sini. Almost an hour dekat klinik tu. Kena makan ubat darah tinggi, and ubat angin. Nasib baik ECG result ok. Tapi geli la badan kena letak wayar-wayar tu semua.

Hmm.... pagi ni bangun lambat, cover tido dulu baru masuk office.

Seksanya kalau everyday macam ni. Cepar-cepat la baik, cepat-cepat la turun bp ni. Risau gila, tak pasal kena stroke pulak. Lepas ni kena kurang garam, kena kurang fried food, kena lebih makan sayur (yuck!!!!), kena kurang makan ayam (aiyak!!!!). Damn!

And I kena stop fikir segala benda dalam kepala otak ni. Entahlah, hati tak tenteram lately. If only I can solve all the things yang kecamuk dalam kepala ni. Am trying my best to do that, and most important at the moment is to keep calm. First thing to start.... stop gaduh with boyfriend. I pity him have to handle me this way now, and I pity myself at the same moment. Can we survive with me going on like this? With him going on like that? (to those who wants to comment about kahwin, eerrr... simpan ja la dulu that thought!) But his assurance he gave me just shortwhile does comfort a bit. Now I leave it to God on our faith, somehow I do have faith, if not we would have gone separate ways ages ago. He is not an easy guy to handle and unsderstand, then again, I'm the pain-in-the-ass girlfriend too.

Next, my mother. That is another issue. Now we fight about everything. I used to be the angle daughter, ikut aja. Now I ikut perangai kakteh, melawan aja. Kesian mama. I neen to make ammends with her. I know dad will help.

Work - huhu, hari ni masuk lambat, my MD dah buat announcement pasal my bp last night kat semua orang. Masuk ja office tadi, sorang-sorang salesperson tunjuk concern. Semua dah tabur janji macam-macam nak help as much as possible with this week's collection. Ini sudah bagus.... hehehehehe.

My MD bawak food less oil, less garam from home for me . Dia masak pagi tadi when she got to know that I'm coming in to office. (Matta fair this weekend, sakit pun tak leh ngelat la) Hari-hari boss macam ni, besh la. Sayang kat boss.

To my friends yang tak sudah-sudah bertanya itu-ini pasal my health kat email tu, sudah-sudah la jadi keji. Doakan I cepat baik. Cepat bp ni turun, biar hidup I ceria selalu. Yang dok bagi sakit hati kat I ni pun, sudah-sudah la tu. Agaknya kalau I mati cepat lagi korang suka kut.

Paroe darling, thank you for rescuing me last night. Kesabaran anda diwaktu ini amatlah dihargai.

TAKING IT SLOWLY

Damn my bp is still high.

Strictly under doctor's instruction (although she is my aunt), I have to do regular exercise, control food, peaceful sleep, less work stress, less other things that can make me stress, reduce this really overweight body, must smile a lot, drinks lots of water, and on medication. Aiyak!!!!

Okay la, I don't want to die young, so strictly under doctor's instruction it is then!

But next week is Matta Fair, how am I to reduce stress? That is the peak season of my stressfull work. Get another job? Hmm.... maybe I should. Last night I went to KLCC to see adik, emma & amy. After listening to Emma & Amy's job at the bank, eh, I have a better and less stress job than theirs! Nope, am not moving job. I'm the "stick to one job type", "stick to one man type", "stick to one car type until it cannot be used", "stick to the same friend although they threat me like hell type", and other kind of stick to the same kind type! (of course with exception of sticking to the same handphone - that one I change every year, although cheap ones, still, I change..... and of course shoes....... I buy a new one every month!)

Adik asked me last night : "Kenapa gemuk sangat ni? Kngah eat a lot when you are either too happy with your life or too sad! " He wants me to reduce some weight by the time he gets back from Japan this month end. And I told him I will do it. But I will do it my way, no expensive gym whatsoever. Adik is going to Japan again next week. Jealous! He gave me a cool Japan t-shirt last night from his previous trip. (p/s : Shah my darling cousin - if you read this, can you be in-touch with adik via sms. The last time he went, he couldn't reach you via phone, and the japanese couldn't help him either.)

I can't wait until next weekend is over. Am planning to go holiday again. Having high bp gives me the excuse to cuti-cuti goyang kaki. But I have no idea where to go. Somewhere I can go by myself, with my new car, nobody can disturb me. Definately not balik kampung. Balik SP kalau, meaning BP naik la! Cannot be anywhere near mom now. Topic kawin is so hangat with her that can make me loose my mind. I don't want to fight with mama. Now I'm smart. When she ask, I tell her to ask boyfriend. Let him handle my mom for a while. Hehehe. Boyfriend is being good at the moment. Taking left, right, centre whatever my 'takde insurance punya mulut, tangan & kaki' now. He is being very patient and tolerant at the moment. Ikut ja la kerenah I. Despite his very busy schedule, sleepless night with tender and so on, he makes time for me although he is half asleep driving to Bukit. BapakAina says I'm the clingy type girlfriend. But I think at the moment, I am more the pain-in-the ass girlfriend! Well, I'll let boyfriend determine on that one. He's the one who needs to handle me!

My new Myvi is cool at the moment. Although not the Swift I wanted, but I am pleased with the new car! Need to get some gadgets for this new MOCHA (colour of the car). The next raya, nanti rumah opah akan jadi showroom Perodua. Me, kakteh, adik are driving Myvi. If only ayong did not change his Myvi with Citra, then all of us are having Myvi.

Ayong : How are my 2 darlings? Nurin kept on saying Makngah gemuk over the phone last night. What happened to Makteh gemuk? Can you ask her to switch back?

Okay, I need to stop now. Don't worry people, I will get rid of this high bp of mine. Thanks for the concern though. I'll be fine. You people should know me better kan?

Take care everyone.

My bp is currently at 145/95. It has been like that for the past 2 weeks.

Had fever last week, had rashes this week. Some parts of my body are still swollen due to hard scratching at nights. I couldn't sleep the past few nights. Face gone red like lobster.

Pagi ni bangun muntah banyak! Now sakit perut. But I have to come to work today.