Opah

My dear Opah passed away peacefully on Saturday, 16th February 2008 at 3.25am at age 83. After almost a year battling with her pain, she finally left us. She was detected with a growth in her intestine in year 2001. Had an operation, but it came back 3 years later. Ever since then, opah always had this stomach ache. She had 3 operation within the last 7 years. But sometime early part of last year, she always had this constant stomach pain. Being opah, tak nak susahkan orang, she will tell us : "Ala, biasa lah opah, dah tua, macam ni lah." (I'm sure most of my blog readers are familiar with my opah as I have been constantly talking about here in this blog.)

But, despite the pain, she lived her last year full of memories and fought herself strongly. The growth had somehow turned into cancer, and had spread to her lungs and brain. And opah started to have headaches all the time. Last Ramadan was the starting of her last battle. She couldn't fast at all, and that upsets her. After raya, the pain worsen, and my aunties start to take turns to take care of her. She couldn't stand on her own, but still insist of going to the toilet herself (degil betul!) After raya puasa, she was bed-ridden. By this time, my aunty yot had decided that opah should stay at her house since she is not working, with other aunties taking turns on weekends. We had our last raya haji at her place. The following week, Opah went for some medical check-ups after constantly being pujuk by my aunties and cousin, Epi, and that is when they discovered the cancer has spread. The doctors couldn't perform any further operation or give her chemo due to her age factor. She was on drugs since then. But none of the drugs eased her pain.

Last Thursday night, I went to aunty yot's house. I cried when I saw opah. She was really thin, no flesh, and she look very-very sick. Macam tinggal rangka yang berkulit saja. I had to calm myself outside, and was comfort by my aunts. She was not like that when I saw her the Sunday before. She was still talking at that time, although just whispering, but she was alright. On Thursday, she didn't respond when I called her, when I sat next to her, she just.... there, lying so weak on the bed. After calming myself, I called dad and informed him about opah's condition. Told her to talk to mom and ask mom to come to KL a.s.a.p. After prayers, I sat next to Opah, reciting surah Yassin. Then I called mom and she was crying too. She planned to come back to KL on Monday (yesterday) and spend the whole week here, at least she can release my aunts for a while. But I told her to come immediately. At this point, opah was already on morphine patch, but again, it did not ease her pain. Babah spoke to me again later that night and informed that they have decided to come home the next day with my ayong as ayong was working at Prai.

I slept at aunty yot's house that night. Opah did not say a word, and she did not want to eat since Monday apparently. She was all awake that night, painfull, but did not say anything. But her expression shows. In the morning, I told her I was going to work, she asked for air sejuk, I gave her plain water, but she said tak manis. She said she wants air sirap. 2 teaspoon, that is all.

I came back on Friday, by that time, I saw her face was shrinking. Sayu hari tengok opah macam tu. I left about 830pm to take my car, and to fetch mama & babah from ayong's house. By the time we were back at Aunty yot's house, it was midnight. Mama, babah, paklong, maklong, aunty yot, uncle wahid, apit and myself started to mengaji and baca yassin. Uncle nuar (her only son) arrived at 1.10am and joined us. By 230am, we finished and I was talking with my uncles. As the hour approach, we were tired. Uncles naik tido, I slept downstairs depan tv with aunty yot. Mama came to give me selimut and tilam, asked us to sleep properly so that we can replace her and maklong in the morning.

As I was about to tarik my selimut, I heard maklong cried out loud " mak.........." I terus bangun, and saw opah inhale a very deep breath. By the 2nd time she did that, I went up to wake all my uncles and my cousin, Apit. My mom, uncle Nuar and maklong were teaching her to follow kalimah syahadah. She did. And her last breath, she held my maklong very firm, and then she left all of us. I thanked Allah that she was not in pain at that point. I saw the clock, it was exactly at 3.25am. My dad checked his pulse, but we decided to wait for Epi to confirm it. Epi confirmed it 20minutes after that.

My aunty yot couldn't take it at that point, but soon after that, she accepted the fact that opah has gone. I called aunty dah, aunty namah (her other 2 daughters who were not there, but was at aunty yot's 3 hours before that, they will come every night, and go home at midnight). And then I called my cousin, chalee, who was about to leave Washington for Ireland.

After helping sorting out the house, at 4am, most of our close relatives were there, I went home to change. A lot of people came to pay their last respect to Opah. We brought her to the Surau in front aunty yot's house. I helped performed the process mandikan mayat. It was done very professionally by these 2 ladies, with help by 2 of my mom's cousin, my aunty nita, kaklong, and myself. Muka opah nampak bersih sungguh. As I was doing it, terngiang-ngiang suara ustazah kat sekolah dulu. After that, we kapankan opah, and ready for sembahyang Zohor and followed by sembahyang Jenazah.

It was a very hot day. But as soon as we arrived at Tanah Perkuburan Taman Ibu Kota (3 minutes walk from opah's house in Gombak), the weather turned cool and it was very windy. Uncle nuar, my 2 cousins, Apit and Hakim yang sambut opah dalam liang lahad. My brother ayong was there to help with the process kebumi after that. After talkin was read, mom wanted to stay for a while and recited the Quran. Babah, me, kakteh and hariz waited for her before we went back home.

I would like to thank to all friends who had came and visit opah that day, especially to Zain who was there first thing. Also to Sarah, Fathil, Fahroe, Iza & Ray. And thanks to Ray, Adam, Nain who had also sembahyang jenazah for my opah kat surau. Also to my cousins from my dad's side, abang rafi and abang yazid, and pak lang, who helped during process kebumi. And also to those who had called and smsed and email salam takziah.

I was really tired that weekend, but rasa lega as semua berjalan lancar. The tahlil we had 2 nights was attended by many people who had known opah.

I will really missed her leteran, her advice, her old stories, her cooking. I will really missed her.

She had touched a lot of people's heart, not just her family, her neighbours, her friends, her cucu's friends.

To my cousin Shah who is now in Japan, we are truly sorry that we couldn't reach you in time, and you had to receive such news from my brother at your dinner date. But, believe me, we tried to call you but couldn't reach. To my cousins, Chalee and Nadira, do not feel sad. At least you guys did come back and spent some time with her last month. And so does my adik, you sempat jumpa and borak with her last Sunday kan? Come back safely from Japan tomorrow.

I will post again about Opah. All the good things about her is something nice to talk about and as a rememberance. Alfatihah.